9 minute call

Family blessings have meant more to me than anything I have ever encountered before. With every challenge I have come to faced that has come to be put into implementation, I have seeked my family’s blessings by all means and they have greatly blessed me with every ridiculous outburst, new interest, innovations, exploration. For the recent few months I have been seeking the Lord in dedicating a year of service to the Gospel – it has been a test of faith and by all means a hit of high and low notes where I’d be: “Ye…let’s do this!” and on some other days it was like: “Oh, … hmmm … ye maybe some other times.” But hey recently, I feel like there has been such a great confirmation leading to today and that the Lord has been saying: “Wait til’ you see what I have in store for you”. I have been and I am trusting Him for so much I begin to shiver and think – hey, if it’s your will, lead me to it and I want to fulfill it by all means. 

Roadblock – crrreeeech . . . family blessing! Oh yes, forgot about that. Well today has been quite eventful on that basis. I spoke to my mom explaining to her now my intentions for the coming year and yey, for a second I thought she was like: “ye, go do it son, I’m with you all the way”. 3 minutes into the conversation, I am reminded about the financial burden that she faces and evidently, I really can’t and won’t try to refute that – she had kinda made her plans for me like every parent has: study…graduate…graduation party (if I’m lucky)…work…$$$! She is shocked out of her boots when I tell her that I have included some few plans in her train of thought and that not only am I calling her to ask for her support on this faith adventure but to bless me as well (these are two different things). 8 minutes into the conversation I am in tears (remember this is a guy who has always expected to be blessed by his family). She ends the call, re-assuring that she will call later and I’m then praying for the Lords grace being: “… you didn’t say it would be this difficult, why does it feel like I am dishonoring my mother”. Well the story picks up when I call my aunts (Phindile and Vangile) – to a degree my spiritual mothers (i.o.w. I run to them every time there is fire in the heart). I embrace their understanding and thank God for their impartation and their support and blessing.  I look forward to seeking God to teach me and help me put the puzzle together because I stand on a limb – knowing no direction of the coming months but clinging on to His character. My discipler said to me some few weeks: ‘Its these points in time, where we are trapped in a crevice, having nowhere to go and hide, putting no front that everything is A-okay, just surrendering all - waiting on Him with utter dependence; that He comes and reveals His glory to us’. I am not turning away from anything nor anyone, my heart is still set in the vision than the Lord has cast and I am humbled. That’s all!