I'm not sure what the title should be. I actually wrote the body before the title.
Coming from camp one can feel uhmped up, revived, restored, rejuvenated, replenished, super excited. Certainly that was the atmosphere I got from the students after the 'Not A Fan' camp had been completed but for them to struggle in distinguishing themselves as 'Not A Fan' still continues...this was just the beginning.
This week I have been feeling oftenly fatigued and seriously exhausted. I'm quite glad that this week students are off campus so that gives me time to take a deep breathe and reflect (ofcourse when I say reflect I mean sleep). The last couple of weeks have been not extremely work loaded but I kind of figured I have a serious problem when it comes to working. I never rest and that's sweating me now. I think its dawning on me just recently on how ministry is personal. Majorly personal and for me to see God through it is pivotal but has not manifested yet. We often turn our television sets on to see talk show host speaking to guests about their struggles, their friendships, their families, their childhood encounters but that's just it, we just watch them - we do not necessarily connect with them. We might connect with their stories but we tend to feel like the onus is not on us to see them through it i.o.w when you go to sleep at night you do not pause for a second and try to put yourself in their shoes - maybe you say a prayer or two: 'God be with that lady who was on Oprah, please restore her family and help her through her difficulty. Amen'. If you are a prayer warrior you may say another the following day. Its not in your face! As I said this earlier on, ministry is personal. When you speak to students you figure that this is personal. Personal because it challenges your faith in as much as its 'their problem' - but that's the thing, I feel the burden that its not their problem only. I've put myself in the picture by virtue of my role and. responsibility. That's epic. I love that! I have no unconscious regrets about it. Hearing peoples stories is lovely, its awesome but they not just stories which have a beginning and fade on to happily ever after - they are stories of struggle, burden, war, destruction, they are stories that have one thing in common - that our world is broken, we are broken and are in need of someone/something that we can cling to with the hope (Christians call it FAITH) that we could be restored. But its personal - it stops being about twinkle twinkle little star but 'God help me in this!' A prayer is said a little more intentionally. For me, it doesn't end when I switch the tv screen off but I'm reminded when I make a phone call for an appointment, when I see a facebook status that's put in ambiguity with subtle reference to their struggles with God, when their name is mentioned in a conversation, the mind automatically relays the previous conversation. Ministry is personal. How do you have faith that can move your mountain. and you still have to share your faith with him A, him B, him C, them D? You turned water into wine! Miracle. You healed the leper! Miracle. You fed 5000 with a couple of loaves! Miracle. You woke the dead! That's a miracle. You woke yourself from the dead. That's not short of being a miracle. You are a God of miracles. Its a miracle I've got people who surround me and show genuine interest. Its a miracle you've turned my heart to flesh, slowly tenderizing it. Its a miracle I'm thankful of where you put me now! You are a God of miracles, nothing superficial, something realistic.
There is so much that's in my personal prayer list currently and I'm waiting on God for but His a God of miracles. Being with students, having lunch with students, listening to students, teaching students, building relationships with students is no game ball, its real!!!
Bafana
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